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  • Ohad Inbar

Violence & Aggression

When (if ever) should we - or may - put away our tomahawk?


This article should theoretically wake some curiosity.

Not only because violence and aggression are common in our current times, regardless of whether it is being inflicted upon us all, by other people or by nature, but also due to coming from a guy like me.

“A guy like me?” - What does it mean? Ok, a prelude is in order.


A prelude

As pointed ever so briefly in my biographic short summary, I did serve in the Israeli Defense Force (IDF) in a combat unit, even aspired for an elite unit, made it through all the tests and been there for about 10 months, until I dropped out. In reality, I didn’t have the superb athlete body needed there, and never liked the attitude of “just do it, don’t think”. My joints and my legs started breaking and running the long stretches was not doing any good to my big-guy body. Even if I would think running like Forrest Gump would be a good idea.


After soothing my broken bones, I joined an anti-tank unit for the remainder of my regular service (about 2 years), not quite as prestigious as the marine unit, but hey - not every guy is suitable as a navy-Forrest-Gump-type beast for special ops.


There is a minority of individuals in Israel who drop off or avoid military service, for any given reason. Several of these army drop-offs (I happen to know a few) are wonderful people on their own terms, without the military “flair” on their shoulders. I am being told it is regarded as a good thing to have served in the army, while applying to jobs in Israel. Since I never aspired for an advanced career in Israel, I wouldn’t know for sure if it matters, and how it is nowadays to get by, looking for an occupation, without having served the whole period (initially 3 years for men, 2 years for women).


Why ever join the army?

Israel is a very special country (we, who grew up there, were told), born out of the idea (regardless whether valid and true or not) that “the holy land” is the only land which can be a safe sanctuary for the Jewish people, when many had to flee from their home countries, due to all the difficulties inflicted on people everywhere during the time period around the World Wars.


Israel has a very active role in the political situation of the region and while I was in the army (the beginning of the 90s), there was an active war zone at the time, at the border of South Lebanon and with the Palestinian Authorities/activists.


Not knowing any better, it felt like joining the army of my home country (obligatory in Israel) is the way to go, especially a country that has an expressed need for defending itself.



The Line of duty

Being “in The Line of Duty '' is an important task and a role that everybody needs to have done at a certain point in life.


Simply put - Everybody who is capable, needs to be of service to the family, group, country or any affiliation, wherever you can feel a sense of gratitude for your upbringing and supporting you in your formative years.


In the course of life, upbringing takes place in a few phases and when you get mature enough to reach a level of skill with which you can start contributing and giving something back, it is time to do it. It includes the simple stuff, like the child who can, and should, be helping with household chores, up towards the more complex practice for an engineer or medical professional who may be needing some training, mentoring and work experiences in real life, and all there is in between.


My values and my beliefs in “the system” have changed dramatically since then, and honestly, it has been a sharp learning curve in my life. The meaning of “serve and protect” my home country, i.e. including being in the army (but not exclusively) has also changed similarly in a dramatic way.


“Serve and Protect” as a term, a virtue - “fight (and possibly suffer or die) for your country” - is very questionable when it concerns a country that plays a very risky (and very offensive too) game in the political arena in the world in general, and in the region in particular.


Most people are not (yet, anyway) even aware of the underlying forces, the motives (stretching beyond anything the normal person realizes) and the supposed outcome.

It has taken me a certain leap of faith to realize how messy it all is.

But I think I am on the right track.


My values haven’t changed much through the years and as soon as my belief system collapsed in this sense, it was just a simple math to make a very easy choice - There is no reason or motive to fight for a country - ANY country, in this world, in the current reality, but only for the right principles, our rights and our most sacred values, which is a totally different game, and the fighting arena is often (but not exclusively) within oneself.


With regard to being of service to others, though my opinions and my knowledge of the situation are now radically different, I still firmly believe that in the age of finishing school, schooling, training for life, whatever age that is for every individual, or how ever long the training and basic skill attainment might be - every one of us should contribute to society in a form of volunteer activity. It should be of service to the people, with only humble expectations to be rewarded, with getting the basic needs and some gratitude for the given service.


In a world like ours, where we are more or less enslaved to a form of a “hamster wheel”, for a system that keeps sucking our energy in order to maintain itself, it may be a big shift. The current so-called “hamster wheel”, a “Sisyphus” task type of life, is supposed however to sustain a boss, a company, or any of the “elites”, societal parasites or a combination thereof. Tax money that we pay goes in very crooked ways to other people, the super-rich, and a tiny bit goes back to “we-the-people” in any way.

Shifting toward willfully serving others, and fundamentally knowing that we can easily sustain ourselves is infinitely more rewarding and is usually quite simple, and infinitely cheaper and relaxed.


In a hopefully-not-so-far future, there will be a far smaller and perhaps even diminishing need to “work” - just to sustain oneself.


All the above is a massive digression but nonetheless an important piece of the puzzle.

And it explains on what ground we, who have served in a military force were sold into believing that it is a part of life, to serve and protect, asking back for nothing much, other than acknowledgement and some credit, definitely getting treated for possible injuries, and better opportunities later in life.


So now the main questions:

  • Can we live without violence? What is violence anyway?

  • What is aggression? Is there a need for aggression or being aggressive in any situation or circumstance? Why are we plagued with violence and aggression and can there be life without it?


Again, like I have mentioned several times in my writings - I don’t pretend to be an “expert” on something I haven’t been studying extensively (not formally anyway), but merely a guy on his journey toward being a better self, who has been pondering on this issue.


I don’t feel the need to excuse myself for not having read what other people have written on the topic because the purpose here is just stating my own opinions, based on my life experiences and my interpretation of these experiences.


As I have been brought up by the tokens of “aggression and violence are necessary evil” but nonetheless evil, it is very natural to me to take the standpoint of being “nice” and mellow, and refrain from being violent as much as possible, while aggressiveness will be due only in order to achieve an advantage over another aggressor, who has some dark intentions, whatever that might be.


Since I am taken by my looks to be a fairly big guy, strong, perhaps taken as aggressive too (depending on mood and energy), I might be seen as dangerous to some folks. Not the least by being driven by firm principles and opinions, which is a threat to individuals who prefer mellow, compliant followers, like the majority is, and I am not the majority.


Therefore, from very early age in life, I have always made some efforts to prioritize:

  1. Keep cool and not let myself get carried away by stressful situations and conflicts, and training makes perfect, but mellow would be a wrong statement.

  2. Even if I might look threatful, I do have a protective aura, as I am protective in nature, rather than predatorial.

  3. soothe myself quickly from any anger or irritation, even though I have a “warm blood” and have strong feelings, though mostly under the surface.

  4. Be smart and learn from my mistakes, and from what others around me think of me, in an attempt to “feed forward” my responses. “Feed forward” is an engineering term from control theory that means to be proactive and have a predictive response, as to try and respond appropriately beforehand.


The above way-of-conduct is not an “Awe to myself” session, but rather attempting to give you some hints of what might work for you too, in order to keep the aggressiveness in check.


Why Aggression?

An obvious example of being in the need of aggression is when someone clearly is trying to hurt you or your loved ones, even just test your boundaries. There are many predatorial entities and folks who, for any given motive, want something from you, perpetrate or derange your domain, and trespass into your private sphere, where only you may have the right to decide over yours and your own. Any violation of your own consent is a violation of the Universal law of Free Will, which is a serious violation.


But apart from the example above, it is a very delicate matter, where interpretation may vary greatly, and the boundaries may shift, depending on the circumstances and standpoint, in which case it is usually better to find and define the terms, as opposed to “shoot first, and ask later”, i.e. exert violence, at the price of regretting some consequences.


I can recall discussing the fine line of the needed aggression quite a bit, both at school, during army service and also during several police courses I took, during and after the army service.


I used to be a firm believer in the “logical” and the “mainstream obvious”, which has fallen out of favor spectacularly in recent times.


It is much more suitable to use the power of your own decision making, for which one has to build a very robust faith in his/her own decisive powers and the ability to judge from one’s own perspective. In the case of misjudgement, as it surely might be, one needs to take responsibility for his/her actions and be unequivocally clear on the intentions.


For every decision, there are often a multitude of consequences, both “positive” in nature, or favorable for the moment, and “negative”, or not so favorable. The intention is important, as this is the sense and the frequency range of what I intend.



The Balance of Masculine and Feminine

Another factor in the equation is the battle of the sexes.

Many of us dudes are raised by our mothers, which by definition are feminine. Many households, even good family nests, lack a good balance of the masculine, powerful and sometimes even aggressive presence. The masculine energy is necessary for balancing the feminine energy, which is nurturing and pampering.


However… Everybody is confused nowadays, and on purpose too.


Many men are mellow, feminine and confused by society that wants them to be forgiving, nurturing and soft - clearly a nice set of virtues, but only when balanced with courage, forcefulness and initiative taking. Women are equally confused and the perpetual degradation of the genders, and their corresponding energies, bears some unpleasant consequences, if not catastrophic. Men are expected to be more feminine and hide their masculine traits, whereas women are pushed to be more aggressive, which is very unsexy for both sides. A royal cluster fuck.


Both genders (and all this bullshit, dubious LGBTQIA+++ in between) are dazed and confused and society degrades. It brings instability and everybody gets snappy and/or psychologically ill. This needs to be addressed.


Resources and Wastefulness

In the world of consumption and the crucial need to sustain oneself, we need to start thinking of how we live and the wastefulness of our society, which is strongly connected to our main topic - aggression - since we are quite literally a part of the food chain.


Our subscription to the food chain pertails: If I am stronger than another being that I intend to use or consume, I need to be utterly responsible, in order to avoid waste. No lion kills more than one zebra just for fun. And when the Alpha is satiated by eating the most nutritious, inner organs, it leaves the rest to the next in line, until the prey is totally consumed. You see - no waste.


If I need to chop off a plant or kill an animal in order to eat and survive, or even thrive, it is because I don’t know any better solution to nourish myself. And for that, I need to use brutal force and end a life, be it of a plant - a living being just like we are - or a higher being, like a mammal, and the only thing that makes it ok is the need to survive and the lack of other alternatives.


Thus, even in a more perfect world, hunters are not so much different than the gatherers, as plants are living beings, and from my own perspective - if you have to kill an animal or to chop a tree, for shelter or other needs, it needs to be motivated by the need, under the right conditions. Abuse and overspending is not ok.


Veganism?

EHH… So sorry for you, vegans, to trash your condescending view of meat eaters, and let you down from your high horse. The need of the vegan folks to avoid harming other life forms is now null and void by the fact that every piece of bread, every soya dish, broccoli and anything else, is made out of other life forms and has been produced and harvested somewhere. Unless you're chewing on rocks for fun.


The methods for that are at least as wasteful as anything else in this current world.


The horrific treatment of animals is unfortunately on par with abusing land, neglecting the other living beings in the field, usage of big machines and poisons for agriculture and depletion of soil, including the futile need to sterilize everything. I do envision it will be changed in the future, as this way is just not sustainable, but until the “clean-up”, it is a shit creek. Very bad indeed.


Want to be a vegan? Fine. Just don’t be judgmental toward others, which is generally the case.



The balance of good and evil, and Free Will

It is said that the balance between Good and Evil, Light and Dark, should be around 55 to 45 % - 55 % light, and 45 % dark.

Light is meant as constructive for growth.

Dark is meant as destructive, promotes death and/or is parasitic in nature.


A living being - by the Universal law of Free Will - has ALWAYS a choice between generally 3 types of decisions:

  • Win-Win, or constructive (by summarizing the conditions to make the best out of a given situation) for myself AND my surroundings.

  • Win-Lose, parasitic or predatorial, which puts you in a position to be a destructive or abusive force of the universe around you. This might as well end up being somehow useful in the big skim of things, such as punishment to another, useful lesson to another or what have you - a constructive outcome down the road.

  • No conscious decisions, or “don’t care” in some jargons, which means you are not acting as a living being, since you relinquish your right to actively decide, which makes you a victim by choice, by your own consent, to let someone or something else decide for you, or step on your toes too, as it may occur.


Every living being is entitled to use the power of the law of Free Will.

In that sense, every living being bears the personal responsibility to make choices and protect its own at times, as there is no guarantee that everything and everybody is all rosy and fine.


The nature of the universe is both good and evil in a certain balance, as stated previously.

It has to be this way as to give the opportunity to choose between the two (not as a duality of choices but usually on a spectrum), as a way to deploy the power of choice and free will and “show the world” around what every being goes by.


What kind of being I am, what principles I have and what is the path that I am choosing is a part of my frequency makeup and dictates what I am to my world, even helps to define "me" in front of the mirror. And ultimately my development path and my destiny, my Karma.


The universe needs Good and Evil so that we can choose both.

And if we can choose both, it is guaranteed that some of the creatures will choose very differently from what we would choose, some will defer to being predatorial, parasitic or destructive, and we may need to either defend our own from others, or to exhibit what we go for, and sometimes both, which may involve violence and aggression.


This applies regardless if (or especially when) we are able of using force. When we clearly have the upper hand, and can be brutal, even destructive, we show our true colors when we choose to be constructive instead, without being overly tolerant.


Overly tolerant? Being a “nice guy” has always backfired on me in my life.

And I learned to remember everyone needs a warrior inside, and I have a shadow side, a dark side with a wolf lurking - a beast I should tame, but nevertheless keep around.


Like the Samurai who needs the courage that springs from high moral grounds, who will revert to using lethal force, with the price of death, if this is called upon. Warriors are people who are willing to use force to counter force.


So, my answer to this? Should I bury the hatchet and take off the warrior colors? Ever?

Sure. Just keep the hatchet somewhere safe, away from irresponsible children (of all ages), just in case you may need it, because the need may never diminish completely, ever.





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