Being a grown-up is to me, at least arguably, one of the hallmarks of achievement, along with happiness, excellent health, abundance, fulfillment, security, growing consciousness, etc.
Why would I talk about being a grown-up?
Who has given me the permission to even say something about maturity? Well, for one - I don’t ask for permissions and I don’t need any.
But what makes me an authority in this matter?
Talking about personal maturity, I don’t consider myself an expert. Neither do I compare my development journey to the journey of others per se. Even though, when looking around, I do consider myself as someone who at least has a valid opinion that might contribute to society, and help others in progress, just by having gone through a portion of becoming mature myself, in my own personal development process.
Since I am just as perfect, or rather imperfect, as anyone else, my points in this article are, at the very least, worth pondering on. My observations and opinions are entirely from a place of love and caring for you, me and all of us as a collective, as we are all one, connected on a high level as children of Creation.
It is not patronizing and it is not being “Besser-Wisser” (German expression for someone who always knows better than you and has the right to judge you), but taking an objective look at others is somewhat easier than taking an objective look at oneself in the mirror (or its virtual/imagined equivalent).
In Essence
Maturity is thus very much an observation of oneself, and letting oneself - or not - get away with childish behavior and/or less than adequate conduct. Not because someone,playing a parent (your boss/government/perceived authority) told you so, and not because of any ego-based thinking (being better than others, avoiding shame & blame, etc), but because mature thinking entails having observed your own behavior and weeding out behavior patterns that are less-than-helpful, even harmful. It requires parenting yourself, and being loving, thoughtful, caring and supporting about it, too.
So the path toward attainment of maturity and the continuous process of becoming more mature is at least bearable, if not pleasurable, journey.
Why is it not happening all around, then?
In our society, where the term personal maturity, being a grown-up, is so worn-out - how can we ever become grown-ups? Who would be our role models? Where do we look for role models? Who can pave the way? How do we know who to model, what is the path, the principles to follow?
Our society relies on partly wrong virtues, and a dumbed down version of science and technology. People on our planet are being continuously poisoned on purpose and life span is much shorter than many other societies, so we never get the chance to learn anything more than in this short span of 70 years, or if we’re lucky even 100 years.
Our galactic/space brothers and sisters, who tend to live much longer (hundreds and even thousands of years), have a much superior mindset in this regard. At least some of the cultures around (and underneath) us.
When people live longer, and can recall previous lifetimes, they tend to accumulate knowledge and wisdom far more readily and better than we ever could. Our inferiority is also due to deliberate squashing of societal structure, the purposeful breaking of family, tribal and cultural virtues, for the sake of control, Divide & Conquer and making us lose, loosen or weaken our bonds to each other, in order to be able to enslave us.
The Working Bees’ Model?
The working class in the insect domain don’t need maturity, just genes. They are created according to a genetic blueprint (which is indeed a marvel), and their personal development is not exactly their main goal. They do their role - e.g. bring nutrients to the collective and defend their queen/s, or die trying - without ever questioning any life purpose.
Ponder on this, consider and reconsider.
What would happen if and when the global society on our planet, overnight or a slightly longer period, loses the restraints posed on us and starts living up to our potential as the Crown of Creation?
Maturity is all about taking responsibility, acceptance and making wise decisions. It is ultimately expressed by e.g. caring for each other, sharing what we have for the betterment of the All, and reflecting upon oneself, having gone through the course of life and having faced some tricky moments and difficult decisions, some of which needed to be made on the spot. And for the sake of all of us: Quitting, once and for all, childish behavior.
Decisions need to be made, always.
Decisions are the task of every living being, from a tree to a bee, all the way up the ladder to humans, whales, insects, wolves, and all in between. Decisions have an irritating tendency to be very significant and tough when there is the least time to consider, weigh the consequences and make the crucial and necessary qualified guesswork.
Making decisions is tough sometimes, admitted. But not deciding is in fact a decision, too.
3 “flavors” of making decisions:
Taking a “good” decision - good is to me “win-win”, i.e. we both should gain from it.
Taking a “bad”, predatorial or egoistic decision - meaning to me “win-lose” I am the beneficiary, and you either lose or I don’t care what it winds up to be.
Not taking any decision - meaning, no honest effort is invested to take the “steering wheel”, and we (myself included) may depend on arbitration of destiny.
Either of these 3 flavors may wind up as a “good” or “bad” decision, at this time or later, and will become a start point for the following decision making processes
Which way would you prefer?
Note to self: A positive observation
People who are the most mature are those who are the caretakers of others who are highly dependent on them, be it the disabled, the crippled or the old. They just HAVE to get over their childish tendencies and grow up, grow a pair of balls too in the process, since this is tough, and requires a way of loving and cherishing life far more than having a dog, a rodent or a pet at home. The life of another human being is in your hands. And everyone might have a parent, who some day may become dependent on others again.
Our parents?
How much can we learn from our older family members?
Some of them have been around long enough to accumulate wisdom and successfully prevailed through some hardships. Some of them have had the time to reflect upon their share of destiny. They might also have lived long enough to remember the encounters and the meaning of learning from their mistakes, and still have the mental acuity so they can teach their wisdom, transfer it to the younger ones.
Society has (in my observation, anyway) lost a big portion of the accumulated maturity, held by the elder and by traditions and culture, familial and tribal structures. Maturity level has been eroded, seemingly especially in recent years with the spread of knowledge and “modern” lifestyle, plagued by wars, stressful lifestyle, and the absence of time/ability/space for going deeper into the meaning of things, in order to make true progress.
Whereas a 10 year old child could (and had to) help in many tasks at home and even in the business/workshop, the same child nowadays in developed countries is not used to helping, is not interested, and doesn't have to or is not expected to be able to help. In many families children of this age run around and play with their mobile phones or the gaming console, watch TV and do something that brings absolutely nothing to themselves or others, to their maturity level or to society. At school, where “education” takes place, learning is almost absent too, but far worse - these life arts, of going deeper than superficiality, is left untouched
People are supposed to become "sheeple" - stressed, chronically ill, easily manipulated, dumbed down by education and media. And so we are controlled by the few, who have money and power, and reigns over the many.
The lack of mutual support due to decaying society, made worse by fallen bond of friends and family, is a process achieved by inflicting war, famine and scarcity, and other stresses. It renders people incapable of looking into themselves, so only very few ever ascend over mere survival, and achieve true greatness and any higher degree of personal maturity.
So why would anybody become more mature, more capable of making decisions and hence more independent when the controlling hierarchy wants exactly the opposite and has driven society towards being easily controlled?
Precisely. The ruling “cast” of this society wouldn’t change it, they don't and they won't. Ever.
And it is our task as humans to understand this trend and escape the reigns of control, and habitual living too. And this is where maturity comes into play, because it is necessary for making decisions, living a virtuous life and ascending in personal development.
Equipped with the deep understanding of oneself that I mention here, one important outcome (beside some more peace of mind) is the ability to accept the world around us, love unconditionally and leave the battles that I don't need to invest in, so I can invest more keenly and seriously in issues I care about more.
The attached infographics is, in a nutshell, almost entirely about accepting.
So take a good look in the mirror. Take it personal:
what can you and I do to make our lives better, more responsible, and contribute to the progress of yourself, of me, and the All?
Don’t hurry.
Take your time. And go deep.
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